How did the hail stone describe it’s life? -It really has a lot of ups and downs

What do you call a laptop that ejaculates metal? Computer

You can tell if your gold chain is fake… …by leaving the room and listening to see if it talks crap about you to other jewelry.

A wise man once said nothing.

Walk into a random building, go to a random floor, step into a random meeting, and take a donut. Best donut you’ll ever eat.

Actually, I thought 50 Shades Of Grey was about Taco Bell meat.

Why does Santa have a large sack? Because he only cums once a year

I JUST HAD AN ESPRESSO WHO WANTS TO JOUST?

Whenever I’m feeling stressed I go to the house of mirrors… I find it’s a really great place to reflect.

Why hasn’t Joe entered the race yet? He’s just Biden his time.