My friend has canceled our lunch plans three days in a row. I’m starting to think she really doesn’t like lunch.

YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! AND YOU’RE GETTING SNOW! -Oprah Winfrey. Meteorologist

Why did the vampire go to hospital? He wanted his ghoulstones removed.

5 scientists out of 6 say that russian roulette is safe

The quickest way to avoid a conversation on Facebook is by clicking like.

when I was little, I drugged the milk to catch Santa. Next morning I found my dad passed out on the stairs. Well played Santa..

I really don’t have much respect for those that take drugs and alcohol. Like Customs, for example.

I tried dusting after five energy drinks now my house is on fire.

Q: What do you call a clairvoyant midget who escaped from prison? A: A small medium at large.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had an albino child? It was a case of two Wongs making a white.