What date is it today? Brasil/Germany Or Germany/Brasil in some countries.

So, Pee Wee Herman announced he has converted to Islam He’s currently planning a pilgrimage to Mecca Lecca Hi Mecca Hiney Ho.

You know you’re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seat-belt on

What do you call a gullible Indian? A Naive American. Literally just came up with this.

When I get naked in the bathroom… When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

I took a selfie with my uncle. Everyone behind us shook their heads. I never know how to behave at wakes.

They say great things come in small packages But I assure you my thing is still pretty good.

My uncle always believed that “Between duct tape and WD-40 you can fix just about anything.” I still can’t believe it took seven years before he lost his medical license.

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.. The cop said to the driver, “Ha! I’ve been waiting for someone like you all day!”. The driver replied, “Well, I got here as fast as I could!”

My son cuddled up to my bump and was talking about how he could see the baby and it would have been cute if I were pregnant.