An app that detects itself running on other people’s phones, then both devices play Random Encounter music. What happens next is up to you.

If you ask me to go get “Eyetalian” food with you, our friendship is probably over.

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None – its a hardware problem

You know why Communist Jokes are funny? Because they are Commie-cal.

Considering you can be anything you want on the internet, it’s amazing how many choose to be stupid.

Why are jalapenos so annoying? Because they get jalapeno business.

The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you.

Why did Chewbacca cross the road? WWWRRRRRRGWWWRRRR!

I’m taking the soul train to Funky Town with my boogie shoes on, and the dish ran away with the goddamn spoon. This is really good weed.

me: did you check the suggestion box boss: we don’t have a suggestion box we have a paper shredder me: MY DRAWINGS