Why can’t some snakes get boners? Because they have a reptile dysfunction.

Job interview HR: What’s your best asset? Me: I have an excellent memory. HR: Give me an example. Me: Of what?

Teacher: Johnny you know you can’t sleep in my class. Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter I could.

Why don’t old people have sex? Have you ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich?

That’s how I ended up with a polytheist child I started with several theist children, asked them to hold tight to one another and sprayed them with a catalyst.

What do you call a horny Welshman on top of the Space Needle? Sheepless in Seattle

How old do kids have to be when you can start saying “Fuck you.” to their faces instead of behind their backs?

A woman went to the doctor, who examined her. He said, You have a bad back. The woman said, I want a second opinion. The doctor said, All right! You’re ugly as well.

A pirate goes to the dentist…. “Open wide and say aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”

One liner I thought of and giggled at the other day A wise man once said, “Love is all you need. And Kevlar.” I made up that last part.