I hate babies when they are crying. I hate people who love babies & think babies are cute. I hate grown up babies who make more babies.

How many Firefly fans disc it take to screw in a light bulb? None. The just stand around for years bitching about how it went out. EDIT: does not disc.

Guys, don’t ever tell a girl that she’s yummier than a gummy bear, she’ll know it’s not true because nothing is yummier than a gummy bear.

What is the definition of trust? Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Wearing crocs is like getting a blowjob by a guy It feels good until you look down and realize your gay

People in wheelchairs just don’t get humor. They never know when you’re pulling their leg.

Did you hear about the weather report from the ski resort in Lake Tahoe? Partly cloudy with Sonny around a tree.

What’s the best thing about fucking a transsexual? You can reach around the front and you think you went all the way through.

What happened to the adhesive suicide bomber? He glue up.

Why do all the best golfers keeping buying socks? They get a hole in one!