What kind of socks do you find in your backyard? Garden hose.

What kind of explosive is popular with terrorist school-children? The satchel charge.

It looks like trees are all flamboyantly coming out of the closet before they die for the winter

Found a wooden shoe in my toilet it was clogged saw on last comic standing

Legally your grocery store can’t stop me from tapping on the canned goods and declaring which ones are ripe or not.

Want to know how the Cold War was ended? It was with Robotussin and space heaters.

What’s it called when you kidnap a ghost? A Polter-Heist

I wanted to build a camp for kids with ADD. But I got shut down for calling it a concentration camp.

What do Apple and Titanic have in common? They both killed Jack.

What keeps running and doesn’t get tired? A Kenyan child.