Will I be able to drink with these? – First question when prescribed meds

Dear Karma: I don’t understand, he hasn’t been mauled by a lion yet. XO, Me

A girl couldn’t decide which mascara to use Bitch couldn’t makeup her mind.

Every cloud has a silver lining, except ver. 8.0.1

What do you say when leaving the Periodic Table of Elements’ police station? Cu Copper.

Dentist: “When was the last time you flossed?” Me: “BRO, you were there.”

What does Canadian Fonzie say? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Eh?

Gurl, you remind me of a box of chocolates…..(Why?) Cause I want to take your top off.

Can’t sleep. Boss is watching.

What’s the difference between a book and a mexican? A book has papers.