What do you get when you put an egg in the ground? An eggplant.

Why will the columbine high basket ball team lose the tournament? Because they lost their 2 best shooters

a cute girl stopped behind my laptop as I was full screen on a pic of bread and I didn’t know what to say so I stammered out “I like bread”

What is the best movie like to shout as you orgasm? I am your father.

I’m 6’5″ and I can’t stop talking down to everyone

“Let’s see what you’re made of!” he says on approach, knife in hand. “Good.” I mutter. “Another adversary who paid no attention in Biology.”

Whoever invented the forklift over estimated the weight of forks

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

Guess what! Some blacks don’t like whites, some whites don’t like blacks! And nobody likes Mexicans! Big deal! Who cares!

So a blind man walks into a bar And a table. And a chair.