Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank Give a man a bank and he can rob the world.

Why are bodybuilders the best the best partners? Because with them it always works out.

Ladies what’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

If at first you don’t succeed, GREAT. Now you know not to waste your time on that ever again. Fuck that shit. Lesson learned.

A U2 album so shitty, even Android won’t give it out for free.

FYI Don’t make snow angels in a dog park.

How do you win an election? By having people believe that you’ve won an election.

Whats Black White and Red allover Detroit in winter

What do you call 1 white guy surrounded by a court of black people? The NBA.