What’s the difference between Jesus in real life and Jesus in a picture frame? It only takes one nail to hang up Jesus in a picture frame.

Sure, white people can’t say the “n word” But at least we can say phases like “thanks for the warning officer” and “hey dad.”

A mama’s boy is frantically running out of a strip club yelling… MY MOMMA TOLD ME IF I EVER CAME INTO A PLACE LIKE THIS I’D TURN INTO STONE. AND I FEEL IT’S STARTING

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny? Canadians became *penniless*

Fireman: Is anyone else inside the house? Me: Uh yes..my son is trapped in my room he- [fireman charges into blaze] ..HE LOOKS LIKE AN XBOX

Opposites don’t always attract. I’ve met several sane and normal people and found nothing about them appealing.

How many Public Radio hosts does it take to screw in a lightbulb? We’ll be back with that answer right after this pledge break.

How can you spot a Jewish Pedofile? He’s the guy in the creepy van rolling up to kids and asking “Hey kids, you want to buy some candy?”

What has 60 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Country concert

I was out of tanning oil once, so I used PAM Cooking Spray. The tan didn’t stick.