Why are so many Germans into scat? Because they appreciate the creativity and artistry of Ella Fitzgerald, and enjoy listening to her music….. while pooping on each other.

So many people have the name of their university in their bio. “Nice to meet you, this is who tricked me out of 50 thousand dollars”

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it.

I’m off to pick the kids up from school. Before their parents get there.

Math Teacher: “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?” Student: “A drinking problem.”

Don’t be racist Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

What do you call a black Sasquatch? …Nigfoot

Why can’t 2 Asians have a white baby 2 wongs don’t make a white

My new girlfriend has one leg shorter than the other… Her name is Ilene Wright.

I was never a big believer in feng shui, UNTIL I took the urinal off my livingroom wall. It’s like freaking magic!