Me: “Could you show me where the self-help books are?” Librarian: “No.”

What is bread’s most deadly sin? Gluteny

A terrorist walks into a Akbar

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight? because he chose from the kids menu

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

“Ask your doctor if you’re naive enough for Placebo.”

what is the most common second language in the united states? Dora the Explorer spanish

Whats the difference between an original joke and a repost? I dunno, i just click submit

“WHAT DO WE WANT?” i havent decided yet “WHEN DO WE WANT IT?” i still need a few more mins with the menu you are a really terrible waiter

why did the 2016 presidential election suck? It was a real Hack job.