My password is my pussy Because apparently my dick isn’t long enough

Knock Knock Who’s there ! Aleta ! Aleta who ? Aleta from the tax man !

Why aren’t there any jokes about Jonestown? The punchline was too long

*writing suicide letter Goodbye cruel world. Your going to really miss me when I’m gone… Cat: *you’re

Why did the Dick go to the 7-11? To get a Slurpee!

I just got an iPhone 7S for my wife I thought that was a good trade

Why shouldn’t you tell a story to a solipsist? Because they won’t believe it.

Two monkeys in a bath , the 1st monkey says “oooooohh ooooohh aaahhhh aaahhhh ” and the second monkey says ” well put more cold in” .

“American Pie” ruined it for any kid that actually DOES have an amazing story from band camp.

I was shocked when I found out just how many techno songs Steven Hawking sings on.