So a masochist meets a sadist… The masochist yells out “HIT ME! HIT ME!” The sadist smiles, looks at him and says “no.”

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing? HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

A Man has a strange disorder. Whenever he gets worked up, he sweats coffee. He really can pore the coffee.

He who goes to bed with itchy butt Wakes with smelly finger . -dad

just remember before you let yourself get riled up over The Grammys.. Who Let The Dogs Out won a grammy

What do you tell someone who constantly uses the word “of” instead of “have”? Fuck of

Breaking news!? Shark sighting off Daytona shores. It’s the ocean! That’s where they live. I saw a bird in the sky. Report that too!

[Girl takes off her clothes] “You have had sex before right?” [Me, in a suit of armor & holding a cauliflower] … “no actually”

Gimmie a topic and I’ll make a joke. Go.

Odd how all the intelligent life finding instruments’ are pointed away from earth.