This man’s dad was an atheist. Told me he was a god damned mother fucker.

What do you call a blonde on a college campus? A visitor

How do pirates measure rope? In yarr’ds.

I had a dream about mufflers and tailpipes and woke up exhausted

Pinterest is a great place to organize ideas you’ll never follow through on.

Male Feminists That’s it. That’s… that’s the joke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the deer how it’s done.

How does a Jew make his tea? Hebrews it!

knock knock Who’s There? Do you ya Do you ya who? No, It’s 2014 I use Google

NASA claims that they’ve just discovered blood sucking bugs on the moon. They’re a bunch of lunatics.