What do you call a nun that sleepwalks? A Roamin’ Catholic.

Obama: any good ideas in how to defeat isis? *Biden raises hand* Obama: besides assembling the Avengers? *Biden lowers hand*

So there I was hanging from the ledge… When I thought “hold on a minute…”

*Throws Pizza party *B.Y.O.Pizza *Gather All the pizza’s *Kicks everyone out.

Never Trust an Atom. They make up everything!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market – King Kong Barbie …six foot tall ape holding Barbie doll dressed like Fae Rae

What do you call an Ox with a gluten allergy? A silly-yak.

Me and my husband Atilla got into an argument I told him “hun, let’s not fight”.

I was quite an upbeat child, I used to think CCTV was a very, very positive Spanish television channel

I just brushed a whole tooth without looking at twitter