I went to a feminist picnic the other day… It was great, apart from the fact that no one made any sandwiches.

“I prefer their older stuff” -Archaeologists

What do you call a scary pterodactyl A terroradactyl

*sees guy buying toilet paper* ahahaha that’s gonna be for poop

Who broke into the tampon factory? (warning: offensive) Some bloody cunt.

How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach? It’s not hard.

This is your pilot speaking. If you have any requests, please give them to the flight attendant. Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.

I hate using abbreviations idk y i h8 it doe

‘I’m Spartacus’ ‘No I’m Spartacus’ ‘I am Spartacus’ ‘I AM Spartacus’ ‘I’m Spartacus’ ‘Look I just need someone to sign for the package’

One time my teacher was telling a story about war and the girl in front of me slowly opened her laptop and liked Downy on Facebook.