An horse walks into a bar. The customers get up and leave, recognizing the danger that may cause an animal of that size.

Currently, the Olympic host country has… One brazillian medals.

Hungry priests A group of hungry priests walk into a restaurant. One orders the fish. They all leave satisfied.

What’s the most useful material? Scratch. You can make anything from scratch.

I’m not crying Those damn ninjas are cutting onions again

Jokes about menstrual cycles are stupid Period.

Quick question… How much of this “No More Tears” shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?

[old couple feeding ducks in the park] “Nothing could ruin this Edna” *I scare all the ducks away, punch the old man and steal their bread

What do you call a red lemon? a Lenin. 😉

Just did some crunches while hugging my cat Just trying to get purrfect abs