There’s a band called 1023MB They haven’t had any Gigs yet…

I’ve only seen Magic Mike, can I see Magic Mike XXL… …or do I need to see the other 28 in between first?

A man with Deja vu walks into a bar.

What do you call a fish who went to medical school? A sTurgeon

My chair at work is really uncomfortable. I wonder if a stool softener will work.

If you have Parkinson’s disease… …that means you stutter in sign language.

Why did the blonde cross the road? I don’t know. Neither did she!

Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.

“They say penguins can’t fly. Can’t? Or never got the chance?” I whisper in the penguin’s ear, shoving him out of the aircraft.

Gas dropped to 77 cents a gallon in some places in Michigan. But don’t bother, it was leaded.