“Johnny Depp looks good in that outfit!” “That’s Diane Keaton.”

What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut, you racist.

What did the mortician say to the corpse? We’re gonna need more lube.

So i went to my first fight club gathering I arrived a little late, so i did not catch the first part, but i had a great time. I recommend it to everybody.

Want to hear a joke about /r/science ? [Deleted]

What do you call a tire named after Ferris Bueller? A Ferris Wheel.

these raccoons are a bad influence on me

Where do the happy people of Baltimore live? In a merry land.

Hear about the baby with AIDS? It never gets old…

MOM: putting him in sports was a bad idea DAD: yup ME (in right field wearing my cup on my face): hey coach look at me I’m Bane lol