What do you call that lever on a desk chair that adjusts lower back support? The Lumbar Jack

The police didn’t believe me when I told them I found a flying carpet… They called the whole thing fabricated.

*tips fedora at mosquito* M’laria

HR: Can you explain this?? Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes

What do you call a priest giving a long, boring sermon? An anes-theologist. (close enough)

“The world needs an arbiter of good taste and common sense, and I am fully qualified for that job.” – every living human

Every time I approach girls they inexplicably shoot away from me. Can’t say definitively if I have the force but… The correlation is strong with this one.

Why are condors such efficient fliers? All their luggage is carrion.

ELI5: What is it like to mod r/news? This thread has been locked. You will unable to vote or comment.

me: honey, I’m home! [shuts door] girlfriend: (from bedroom) oh yeah harder me: if you say so [slams door]