Even after all the crap that’s gone between them. They’re still together. My butt cheeks 🙂

I’m going to be late I’m at the hospital getting my hymen restored, so I’m a bit de-laid.

Nothing embarrasses a psychic more than a surprise party.

Glad I’m not a general, because auto-correct just changed “lunch order” to “launch order.”

What is the most violent element of the periodic table? Ni, because Ni for an eye

What would you call a terrible piece of gold? Absolutely Auful!

“Toilet joke * Dirty “Toilet joke” [Dirty] if it’s yellow let it mellow if it’s brown let it drown if it’s red…. you could of spread?

Girl, are you pre-Renaissance art? Because you need to get some perspective.

My wife told me she used to be a lesbian once “You mean I turned you?” I asked with a grin. “No….” she replied wistfully. “I just ran out of money.”

Go into a bathroom stall and write: “For A Good Time Call Your Mother. She Misses You & Enjoys Hearing Your Voice.”