Baby, it’s cold outside. I checked my weather app.

Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn’t see a sign saying you couldn’t park on pedestrians.

When Trump build a wall what would the US become? Attack on Titans…

How does the queen bee get around the hive? She’s throne.

If the skin on your elbow is called a weenus… Is the skin on your knee called a knee-nus? (I’m so sorry)

“Ejaculate” shouldn’t just be strictly a sexual term. I should be able to “ejaculate” out of a restaurant (leave quickly).

Two blondes walking down the hood and one said: -Wait.. I smell sperm… someone is fu*king nearby!!… The other one responded: -Nah, I just belched

Why does Bono sing acapella when he’s feeling down? It takes the edge off it

My friend and I had this never-ending argument in a swimming pool in France Turned into a total piscine contest

In 1987, we had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope… …now we have Obama, no cash, and no hope.