Q.How many blonde’s does it take to change a light bulb? A. 3. 1 to find the bulb 1 to find a ladder and 1 to find a man.

How do you know your at a gay bbq? Hotdogs taste like shit

You mail one pig fetus with a note saying “I’m oinkers for you!” attached, and suddenly you’re ‘psycho’. Whatever.

My Son’s #1 Concern When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?”

9 Year Old: Where do babies come from? Me: (pause) Europe.

A Limbo Champion Walks Into a Bar. He loses his title.

Your momma so ugly … Not even Ripley can believe it

The cow says “moo”, the horse says “neigh”… The dog says “That person…Edward…”

If my dying plant is any indication, I probably don’t water my dog enough… Oh fuck, where’s my kid?

Throughout history they’ve removed a lot of key parts from the bible, like how Satan nicknamed his loofah “Loofifer.”