85% of Canadian moms need you to fix their computer this afternoon

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It was known for blowing up for no reason

Sports: So how’s the shoestring game goin’? Right now, it’s ***ALL TIED-UP!*** Oh my-oh-my! I couldn’t find a cornylamejokes subreddit, so… ~Skip

What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

I keep getting a message that “Twitter is having issues”nnGood job guys…we drove twitter crazy!

Saying that you were touched by Jesus… …is a completely different story in a Mexican prison.

Thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap. Dirty bastards.

Did you know that when a pigeon has sex it dies? Well the one that I fucked did

“Yes mam that’ll be $1200” “Just to remove a cassette tape that’s stuck?” “Ma’m, it’s in your CD player”

On Christmas morning I want to eat Eggs Benedict out of a hubcap. Because there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.