What’s the difference between good sex and anal? Good sex makes your whole day, good anal makes your hole weak.

Short, but good nonetheless A midget philanthropist

I owe a lot of money to a couple people you don’t want to owe money to…. … the winners of my fantasy football league

BEST JOKE EVER Just a corny joke I though off. Hope it brings a smile to your day (: Why was Justin Biber in Frozen? Cuz aparently he likes “snow”.

What do you call a techno-themed grocery store? Gigi D’Agostino

Was driving to work this morning and saw a pluming truck with the best slogan ever. Had to share… J&S Plumbing: Because sometimes a flush is better than a full house.

I’m worried, about that one cute sweet innocent girl who keeps liking my fb post.

If Bernie Sanders has more delegates but still gets denied by the DNC… …that would be unpresidented.

What do you call 2 lambs dating? A relationSHEEP.

If Philae finds an inhabitant on the comet what would be its first words? I’m a Comedian ^((because people from Mars are Martians)^) ^^And. ^^I’ll ^^show ^^myself ^^out