How does a racist joke start? A small loan of a million dollars.

EVERYONE FREEZE THIS IS A ROBBERY! “What’s that?” It…it’s a sawed-off shotgun. “Aren’t you supposed to use the other half?” …shit.

Do you like warts? No. Don’t worry. They’ll grow on you.

Why did Hitler need to get a new car? His was Stalin.

Satan’s greatest trick is convincing you he’s not real but there’s a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose

Dear Genitals, Thank you for not bleeding every month. Sincerely, A Man

Why doesn’t Bill Cosby like women’s flip flops? …because he can’t lace them.

What is similar between a strip club and the Artic The poles are cold and then they are getting warmer.

I value your opinion as long as you don’t offer it

Japan’s flag is like a pie chart of how much of Japan is Japan.