Why the USA get silver in synchronized diving? Because Steele Johnson always comes second.

What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list? A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list

Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet? Because she didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills!

Finally found out why MTV doesn’t do crossover episodes The FCC had some serious problems with “Pimp my Pregnant 16 Year Old.”

You said I could have my way with you. If you didn’t want me to experiment with gas and fire, you should’ve been more specific.

My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Edinburgh zoo.

I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I could go in and look around. They said no and slammed the door. My parents can be so rude…

What did the triangle say to the preacher? Forgive me father for I have sin().

I’m on pace to see 3.7 million Aflac commercials this college football season.

What’s the most offensive joke you’ve ever heard?