This bum said everyone who gives him $10 gets a “special” surprise in the alley. My gut says no……but my heart says its a puppy!

Some consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love… But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic…

What do you tell your wife with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.

what did the man say when he saw the chilli that he was about to cut up for his chilli con carne dancing? “My chilli’s gone barmy!!!”

How do you confuse a jew? Put him in a circular room and tell him there’s a quarter in the corner

I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple Sorry, wrong thread

Please spare me the agony of listening to your relationship problems if you always end up with the same idiot.

Babe, does this mole look suspicious to you? *Points at mole wearing sunglasses and a raincoat*

Why did Ahmed take his clock to school? He wanted to see time fly

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Smack that bitch and tell her to get back to work.