Don’t describe two completely different things as “apples and oranges” they’re both fruit Say something like “elephants and crystal meth”

A hindu murderer was diagnosed with cancer He had murdered 7 children and knew he was going to be reincarnated as a moth due to bad karma. So he reposted old jokes on reddit

I want to be so famous… That I can just go as myself for Halloween.

Someone told me that wearing glasses would make me look smarter. No one told me you had to wear clothes too.

I figured out why so many Islamic Terrorists hate Americans. It’s because we all have our dicks out for haram babes

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you stole daddys car! Why you steal daddys car?! (chappie joke I stole from youtube)

Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is this a trick question?

On the fifth day to election, the public gave to me… Five Gallup polls Four awful choices Three Trump Steaks Two more WikiLeaks And a cache of Clinton emails!

What’s the most popular dance in Warsaw? The pole dance.

I just read an article on the dangers of alcohol and it scared the shit out of me So that’s it. I’m done. No more reading after today