You guys got any good old jokes (example inside) Example: Did you go to school by horse? I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play.

I like my women like I like my sliced meat… Artificial with a bit if fat around the edges.

Why did the sperm cross the road..? I accidentally put on the wrong sock today….

My father suffers from short term memory loss I hope it doesn’t run in the family because my dad has it.

Just once I want to see a new parent post a baby photo on Facebook with the words: “Still not sure if we like it, tbh.”

“can i smoke in here?” “sure go ahead sir” “thanks” *lights scented candle* “can i scatter rose petals in here?” “erm- “can i dim the lights

Ever hear that story of the guy who scaled a building with only suction cups? Well he certainly was a **pane** to catch!

Finally decided on my thesis paper. It’s a LOTR themed essay in defense of Sauron Titled “Getting away with Mordor”

Why can’t a bike stand on its own ? Because it’s two tired.

“We’re sorry that password won’t work we require mixed case numbers symbols and a small goat sacrifice.”