You’re a party girl until your looks deteriorate. Then you’re just a drug addict.

Who do Canadians call when their car breaks down. Triple Eh!

What’s the difference between refrigerators and gay people? Refrigerators don’t fart when the meat gets pulled out

What is an MRI’s favorite music? Metal

“Friends” ended 10 years ago today, but thanks to television, “me having friends” ended long before that.

boss: why aren’t you working? me: i didn’t see you coming!

If someone ever intimidates you, remember that they’re 70% water. Are you scared of water? Well you should be. 400,000 people drown per year.

Why was the cowboy a lot of laughs? He was always horsing around.

Have you heard of the new Xman? Caitlyn Jenner

I hate buying Velcro.. it’s such a ripoff!