You know who hates unexpected visitors? Osama Bin Ladin

You hear the one about the transgender student? He spent his Junior year a broad.

A joke my grandfather told me about insecurity Never mind, it’s stupid

I wonder… …how many people will read this in the bathroom.

If you watch Wall-E backwards its about a little robot that would rather live alone forever than deal with fat people.

I’m not very good with DIY. A pile of books fell on my head… I only have my shelf to blame 🙁

Why didn’t the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!

Accidentally changed neighbor to neighbour and now I’m saying stuff like “bloody hell” and “brilliant”

I always feel bad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?

Before taking viagra, ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. Riiight.