What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common? Same middle name.

How did Hellen Keller’s parents punish her? They gave her a basketball.

In actuality, Batman is just a more violent and dark version of Inspector Gadget.

My friend doesn’t believe in gosh. I’m afraid he’ll go to heck.

There are two secrets to being a successful businessman. 1) Never tell people everything you know… 2)

I wanted to grill something good for watching today’s horse race But my butcher didn’t have any Belmont steaks

A woman ran out of toothpicks… Woman: Nanny! Why do we always ran out of toothpicks? Nanny: I don’t know maam. I always return it after using.

When my kids misbehave we watch ‘Honey, I Shrunk the Kids’ and then I make them stand in a giant Petri dish while I set up the machine.

Two Mexicans fall of a cliff at the exact same time. Who wins? Society.

What is the cheapest meat available? Deer Balls. They’re under a buck!