A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work.

My Fairy God-Mother once offered me the choice of a longer penis or a better memory I can’t remember what I chose

What do you call a disabled man in the hood? A Kripple.

“My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her. She’s a bit underground.” …said the hipster necrophiliac.

Cow joke. Maybe sex for a cow aint great since the bull dick is jerky.

If homosexuals come out of the closet, do necrophiliacs come out of the casket?

Thank you, student loan, for getting me through college. I don’t think I can ever repay you .

“Do you know how fast you were going?” 75 in a 55. I’m sorry officer. “Get out of the car.” *Cop cuddles driver* “Stop doing this. I worry.”

Making Snacks by San Widge

Damn it’s cold out. Better wear a coat, hat, gloves & boots. Sorry legs, you’re still getting pants only, thanks for doing all the work tho