I realized taking dogs for walks is basically their way of checking social media. One lap of smells is a newsfeed scroll. Peeing is posting.

Three popes walk into a bar. Wow, that place is popeular!

What did transferred epithet tell hyperbole? Calm your tits, bro

Math puns are the first sine of insanity Title

I’m not an alcoholic, an alcoholic NEEDS a drink… I already have one

Who takes over when the Ultrasound man is on leave? The Hip Replacement Guy.

Sunglasses were invented so you can stare at me while you’re with your girlfriend.

I think when a transvestite goes missing their face should appear on a carton of half & half

How do two lesbians pass their time when on their period? Finger painting.

I just climbed a mountain of fish, or you could say… I scaled it.