How do you know you’ve satisfied a redhead? She unlocks the handcuffs. Edit: for everyone that isn’t getting it, it means kinky sex

I’m a professional click-baiter. AMA! What I did there….Did you see it?

What is the difference between an amateur archer and a constipated owl? One shoots but can’t hit… The other hoots but can’t shit.

My girlfriend said it was either her or my obsession of showing people where doors are… “Well, there’s the door.”

You’ll never know how funny a tweet can be until you think of all the ways after posting it.

What does a guy call his diabetic girlfriend? Sweet Pee

They say 75% of all Americans live next to a pedophile. Not me…. I live next door to a hot 10 year old girl.

I watched a documentary about the lives of beavers last night… It was the best dam movie I’ve ever seen.

Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!

Jay-Z has an underachieving brother named Lay.