Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No Bell Prize.

Where do you find a dog that has no legs? Right where you left them.

What do you call a Nazi turkey? Joseph Gobbles.

Smokey The Bear is the narc version of Yogi Bear.

I just cut my hand on a box of band aids if you were wondering how I’m doing at life

Everyone buries their problems in different ways. I bury them alive because killing people is wrong.

FB is the Flanders of social media, Twitter is Moe.

A one liner for the holiday, say no to drugs… Everybody says that you should say no to drugs, but I’m thinking that if you’re talking to drugs, it’s too late

What did the italian man with dementia have for dinner? Forgetti Bolognese.

Q:Why did hitler kill himself after he lost to russia? A:His whole world came Kremlin down