How do hipsters buy their drugs? by the instagram.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

I’ve been working on my best ice cream creation ever but it got infected. It’s my Magnum O’pus.

The only good mornings are the ones that start in the afternoon.

What’s the difference between your wife and your job? Your job sucks

What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates? Doctors without boarders.

What do you call milk at the edge of a cliff? Legendary

My phone never asks me to put my husband down.

American police.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? They don’t bother, you can find lutfisk in the dark.