What has long ears hops and likes websurfing? The e-aster bunny.

If you get a divorce in Arkansas… … is she still your sister?

What’s the best thing about fingering a psychic who’s on her period? You get your palm red

What’s Hitler’s favorite Chinese food? Lo mein kampf

What is the unit of power? Yes

What’s the difference… between a (nationality, ethnicity, etc you want to make fun of) man and a large pizza? ~A large pizza can feed a family of four.

You know what I find odd? Every other number

Uber is driving me to drink. Literally.

What did the egg say to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning.

When I get my paycheck I turn into Gollum from ‘The Lord of the Rings’.