How do you kill a circus clown ? Go for the juggler

if she’s old enough to bleed she’s old enough to have decisions about her healthcare be in the hands of old white men

Why was the cat scared of the tree? Because of its bark

What kind of computer sings? A Dell.

Pro tip: never tell a three-year-old that you’re going to Disney unless you plan on leaving that very second.

My wife’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food

Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in? They had to pay the jockey overtime!

I really just don’t like any of these fancy and stinky cheeses. Maybe I’m just uncultured.

I’ve spent the past few months looking for my ex-boyfriends’ killer but no one will do it.

Home is where your wi-fi connects automatically.