It’s weird for Me not having a Pope. I feel like Burns without Smithers.

Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons? Because they keep stepping on the string.

My favorite word is plagiarism. I invented that word.

The biggest difference between men and women… Is what comes to mind when the word ‘facial’ is used.

Have you heard the one about the bed? No? That’s ’cause it hasn’t been made yet.

I kill people for a living with my jokes! HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCK YOU

Once you’ve seen one shopping center… You’ve seen a mall.

Roses are red… Violets are violet. I’m not original, I stole this from reddit.

Why didn’t the airline passenger check his vulture? Because it’s a carrion bird.

Two cows are grazing in a field… One turns to the other and asks “Have you heard all this talk of mad cow disease?” The other replies “Why should I care? I’m a helicopter”