Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.

How do you pick up a feminist? Like a bowling ball.

*sees old person* why don’t u just die already *sees young person* u think u know shit… but u don’t *sees middle-aged person* fuck u, pal

Two condoms walk by a gay bar… One says to the other, “Wanna go inside and get shitfaced?”

What do Snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.

After his wedding, Chuck Norris sent “You’re Welcome” cards to all of his guests.

most recent posts on this sub Knock knock Who’s there? /r/jokes /r/jokes who? Hahahahahaha!!!! it’s an inside joke

Someone asked me to write a sad story in 3 words today I just replied “Trump or Hilary”

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out! *guy looks back and laughs, the door punches him in the back of the head*

What’s got no teeth and smells? The gearbox in the wife’s car…