a bunch of us teens are going out to the forest to burn a piece of paper that says ‘responsibilities’ on it. for symbolism

I used to piss my pants in front of my 3rd grade class…. And it cost me my entire teaching career..

Clerk Kent is in fact Superman… So my mom tells me stop hanging with your friends who are always drunk! They are not a good company! How should i tell her that… “Clark Kent is in fact Superman”

You’re born. You grow up. You believe in Santa. You stop believing in Santa. You look like Santa. You are Santa. You die.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino \()/

Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!

When I die, I want my ashes scattered in front of the TV.

How Many Muslim Women Does it Take to Screw In a Light Bulb? Silly, Muslim Women aren’t allowed to screw in light bulbs.

I asked my friend how she liked her first Brazilian wax… She told me it was a complete rip-off.

Why was the black man arrested? Good question.