Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one… He’s never gonna give you Up.

I heard there’s a machine that can make cocaine in less than 4 milliseconds! I believe it’s called the Instagram.

What’s the difference between a nun, and a prostitute in a bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul.

My nickname is Gilette because I’m the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you

Someone came up to me and stole my candle I was incensed!

How do you know whether or not a redditor is Australian? They’ll tell you.

What did the Giant say to the cripple? Hodor. Hodor! Hodor!

What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? a-CAW!

My cheating Ex-girlfriend just got fired for drinking on the job. She worked at the sperm bank.

If Usain Bolt was an electrician… His name would be Usain Volt