A robot walks into a bar… The bartender says, “Hey, we don’t serve robots!” Robot says, “Oh, but someday you will.”

Q: What’s the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A: The car salesman can probably drive!

What’s Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? WatAHHH!!

My doctor told me I am colorblind. I had no idea! It came right out of the green

[2 years after going missing at zoo] wife: [points at TV] “omg thats him” me: [on the news inside kangaroos pouch] “why is noone helping me”

You thought the co-workers on your floor are happy That guy coming out of the elevator is on a whole other level

/r/Jokes is broken

What do cholos and female drivers have in common? When you see them rolling, you best be off the sidewalks…

My teen yelled at me for not waking her up for school. She’s in the shower & I’m wondering when she realizes it’s Sunday. This is beautiful.

What did one black guy say to another black guy? We’re both black guys.