What is Tiger Woods favorite course? The intercourse.

I don’t understand interventions. What’s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?

A guy from Michigan dies and wake up in Hell. “At least I’m still in Michigan.”

Satan: And this is the TV room. Me: This isn’t so bad. *turns on TV* *only thing showing is golf*

Someone called my call center today to tell a joke I don’t think I’ve ever heard: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite

What do you get when you watch ‘Cinderella’ backwards? A woman in her place…

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells? She grew out of her B-shells.

What do you call crystal clear urine? 1080p

The teacher asked the class if everyone got the syllabus. Jimmy raised his hand and said, “No, I took the boring short bus to school.”

I’ve just had to take the batteries out of the Carbon Monoxide alarm The loud beeping was giving me a headache and I was starting to feel sick and dizzy