Pooh: There’s a rumbly in my tumbly Piglet: What? Pooh: There’s. A. Rumbly. In. My. Tumbly Piglet: Pooh: I’m hungry Piglet: Say that then

So I looked this up on Yahoo… Just kidding, I used Google.

What’s the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple only comes on your face after puberty.

Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them.

In my spare time, I help blind kids I mean the verb, not the adjective

I met a girl who said she liked Imagine Dragons. I asked her if she could Imagine Dragon these nuts across her chin.

What do you call a prosthetic used in exchage for your missing leg. A stubstitute

Damn girl are you a smoke detector? Because you’re super annoying and won’t shut up

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn? China probably can pop corn in one minute.