In middle school chuck Norris was assigned an essay about what courage was. He got an A+ by turning in a blank sheet of paper with his name on it.

Whenever there is trouble, Justice League cums in a… Flash

It’s saying something when you marry Charles Manson and you look like the crazy one.

“Do you have Coke” No, is Pepsi okay “Do you have updog” What’s updog “Haha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not okay”

In or On ? Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

People who like trance music are very persistent They don’t techno for an answer.

Q: If an elephant and a giraffe had a race, who would win? A: The elephant. The giraffe is in the refrigerator.

My name is Nate. My dyslexic friend told me he likes it, he thinks it’s neat.

A horse walks into a bar… And being a horse, and incapable of speech, he poops on the floor and walks out.

If your partner says “if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new,” “anything” doesn’t include getting stuck in a traffic jam